Who we are

I just got finished watching this series on PBS entitled "African American Lives 2" and I was completely intrigued. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. is the host and producer of the show, he traces the history of prominent African American's in our culture as far back as he can possibly go. For instance he traced Dr. Maya Angelou's ancestry back to the early 1800s, Don Cheadle, Chris Rock, Tina Turner and the likes.
It really got me thinking, ironically, as I try to bud (read post from 2.1.08 for reference) that it's so amazing to know where we come from and who we are. I know that before my grandfather passed away he had ever so diligently constructed our family tree back 300 years....I would love to see that! One thing that Chris Rock said during the show really struck me. (I am paraphrasing) He spoke about how had he known all the things about his grandfather then he would have realized earlier then he did that there were greater possibilities and opportunities for him, more so than being a comedian It really gave light to the saying, "You don't know where you're headed, until you know where you're from."

I want to know as much about my family's history as I possibly can, not only for myself, but for the children that I may one day have. There are no classes in this country that educate us about Asian Indian history and therefore, it will be up to me to keep the history of my country, the stories of my people and the legacy of my family, alive. It will be up to me to inspire my future family with the accomplishments and strifes of my ancestors. It will be up to me to show and teach my children the qualities that are inherently in their blood.

So, though I may be late to realize the importance of our past, I know now, that it definitely shapes our future.

Amazing!

Wow! This was one of my most productive days in a long time. I know its hard to believe since I'm a masters degree student, but seriously, it was. In the past, I've done well without having to do much of the reading. I mean of course my papers and reports have substance and for that I have to have background knowledge about the topic. Of course that requires reading...so yeah I do the work. Today, however, was completely different. I behaved like the student I've always wanted to be. I read my chapters for the week, I completed an analysis, and developed outlines for 2 papers due later this week. This was the first time in a long time that I felt in control, that I did work so I wouldn't be behind, today I can truly say, "I love myself for the behaviors I manifested today, I truly was a better person today than I was yesterday!" This is a feeling of accomplishment I've been longing for.....for a very long time now.

On top of all that, today was Super Bowl Sunday, NE Patriots vs. NY Giants. I watched all but the third quarter ( I sent out a couple emails during that quarter) and still managed to get a large portion of my "list of things to do" today, finished. By the way, the GIANTS WON!!!!

One last thing, I made all the snacks and appetizers for my Dad and I today. Cucumber sandetts (little Cucumber sandwiches on cocktail bread), 5 layer bean dip and potato skins. Yum!

Today was an awesome day! :)

Desire: To Bud

It has been eons since I last wrote a post, but I had an urge to write on my blog this evening so here it goes. As the title of this blog post says, "Desire: To bud" I want to bud, to grow, to change myself into a better person than I am at this very moment. I've often heard people say, "Turn a new leaf" but I don't just want to turn "a" leaf, I want there to be more leaves on my tree than there are currently. Basically, I suppose, in a metaphoric kind of way, I feel like a bare tree. Although, this may seem as though I am transparent, that is not true. Without "leaves" on my tree, you don't really see my true character...you can't even identify me...a tree with no leaves is like me having no unique identity of myself. Leaves on a tree add character, beauty and protection. I don't have hobbies, although I want to do the things that I want to do...I don't. I'm easily discouraged, I find myself doing anything to procrastinate from doing what I should be doing. I know this is a bad cycle, but I also know that I WILL get through this. How do I know this? Because I pray, because I see hope manifest itself into my world, I see possibilities being created in front of my very eyes. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just afraid, or tired, or fed up with going through it...but I will go through it. Maybe the lesson right now is, that it's not about the destination but the journey that matters!!

So what am I going to do in order to bud? Well, funny you should ask, I have a list....

• clean my house
• plan my week every Sunday
• workout everyday
• pray with discipline
• read the books I've bought
• ask for help when I need it
• finish my "Hot Air Balloon" puzzle
• find more hobbies...or just do something I love once a week: volunteer, craft, movie, send a card to someone...what ever makes me smile!
• remember that I have what it takes to get through what I'm put through, or else I wouldn't be given the task...Thank you God!!

I truly want to be a better person than I was yesterday (I admire my friend who said this and meant it!!! I will try to live up to the commitment, as well.)

If you have any pointers....let me know.:)